Dusty Diaries

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The TrumpBuffer™ 1.0

Introducing the TrumpBuffer™ 1.0: Because Reality Has a Seven-Second Delay Tired of the cognitive dissonance of watching a man verbally face-plant for hours on end? The TrumpBuffer™ is the revolutionary latency microphone that does what his synapses can't. Simply speak into the microphone, and our proprietary " Bullshit-to-English " algorithm gets to work: · Scans the raw audio for nouns and verbs, discarding all adjectives as they are universally " great ," " fake ," or " crooked ." · Replaces conspiracy theories with a neutral, non-committal hum. · Instantly corrects for "covfefe"-level system failures by inserting a pre-loaded, focus-group-tested phrase about "winning." · Completely redacts all mentions of classified documents, substituting them with a proud dec...

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