Wild and Untamed

 

2023; ‘Wild and Untamed’ EP released—because why stop offending people when you’re on a roll? The title track was my heartfelt ode to women who embrace their natural… landscaping, a love letter to the untrimmed and the unapologetic. Let’s just say it ruffled more feathers than a hedge trimmer at a vegan festival. But the real conversation starter was ‘Mermaid Mating Blues’—a soulful, slightly problematic ballad about the logistical challenges of loving a mythical sea creature. (‘How do you… you know… when she’s got scales down there?’ remains one of my most poetically awkward lines.) Critics called it ‘baffling,’ scientists called it ‘biologically improbable,’ and marine biologists just sighed and turned up the radio. Once again, I found myself at the center of a cultural firestorm—or as I like to call it, ‘Tuesday.’"

"The EP didn’t so much divide audiences as it did confuse them. Was it satire? A cry for help? A poorly thought-out fetish manifesto? Who knows! But by this point, my fans had come to expect the unexpected—or at least, to brace themselves for it. And hey, if nothing else, I finally got folk singers and feminists, biologists and beach bums, all arguing about the same thing: What exactly was my damage? Mission accomplished."

 

"Looking back, maybe I should’ve seen the backlash coming. But in my defense, if you write a song called ‘Mermaid Mating Blues’ and don’t expect outrage, you might be the real mythical creature."

Of course, ‘Wild and Untamed’ got the 2025 re-release treatment—not because the world was finally ready for it, but because the International Mermaid Dating Site Union (yes, that’s a real thing now) launched a full-blown campaign demanding its return. Turns out, merfolk enthusiasts really connected with ‘Mermaid Mating Blues’ and felt it was ‘an important conversation starter for human-aquatic relationships.’ Who was I to argue? So we dropped it again, this time with a bonus remix featuring dolphin noises and a spoken-word interlude from a self-proclaimed ‘mer-wife.’ (not!) The song even charted in a few coastal towns, proving once and for all that love—no matter how scaly or logistically complicated—always finds a way."

"As for ‘Wild and Untamed’, the body hair anthem? Let’s just say the 2025 re-release hit different in a world where razors were passé and everyone was too busy arguing with AI overlords to care about grooming preferences. The song found its tribe—literally. A few radical eco-collectives even adopted it as their theme song, which I think is a compliment? Either way, the moral is clear: Write whatever the hell you want. Eventually, somebody will unionize over it."

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